While browsing Banksy’s website, I came across his latest image, which reminded me of the operation I had shortly after he posted it. It felt like a sign—a synchronicity connected to the lump in my breast. I had been looking for information about the Walled Off Hotel, as I’m planning a visit, and I remembered a handful of helpful tips about visiting the West Bank. When I stopped at the Walled Off Hotel info, something stirred within me, and I recalled reading about the Jerusalem Syndrome. Today, I revisited that page, and it all clicked.
This is why I want to go. I want to experience it. Literally. I want to let it shake me and remind me who I am.
Bethlehem and Jerusalem — they are tied together. One is the manger, the beginning, the breath of light. The other is the prophecy, the betrayal, the fire. To walk between them is to walk through everything the soul carries.
I do not seek spectacle.
I do not seek to be recognized as holy.
I seek only to become a vessel wide enough to hold my own history, without fear and without fragmentation.
If that means stepping into the intensity of Jerusalem and letting it undo me before it remakes me, then so be it. I choose it with open eyes.
They call it madness. They call it a syndrome. But to me it feels like initiation — the soul cracking open so the light can spill out.
Because sometimes, to heal, you have to fall into the very madness the world warns you against, and trust that on the other side, there is light.
I want to go and stay there longer, to let the current carry me. This is the trip I’ve planned for my birthday this year, and I’m set on going. But because of the situation in Gaza, I’m scared—not for myself, but because I don’t want my parents to worry. I don’t know exactly what to do, yet I know I need to go. I need to go this year. I feel it in my bones—this is my destiny. My soul whispers, “Go. You will be fine.”
I have a strong sense that peace is coming—that the Sumud Flotilla will break the blockades, open a humanitarian corridor, and that the Zionist regime will crumble. I feel that God is calling me so strongly to the Holy Land that this moment will allow me safe passage, free of stress, for both me and my family.
