PRAY

Let me tell you of the synchronicity. I am about 3 months late for a visit with the breast surgeon after my vacuum-assisted biopsy. About 4 weeks ago, before Banksy did his last mural but after the Lighthouse one, I visited his website, and there it was — Mary with baby Jesus, that image with rusted breast milk on the landing page. It made me think: why is this image still up? Did he forget to replace it? And then it hit me — it was synchronicity. I remembered that I had not gone for my follow-up visit. I booked the appointment 3 weeks ago, and I was there today. It turns out that the black spot in my breast is back. It could be nothing, but the surgeon suggested that I get another operation. He called it a biopsy, so I am not as nervous as last time, but I still have to go into the hospital again as a breast cancer patient. I never did paint that mural in the waiting room, so I see this as a good opportunity to focus on that project now.

Also, over the summer I did quite a bit of crazy stuff out of character — drugs, sex, and alcohol — and I stopped my daily routine of breathing, meditation, and self-healing. After linking up with my promiscuous art camp boyfriend, I also made an appointment with the gynecologist to get fully checked out.

I am sharing this because this blog is my diary, and I need to let these emotions out. I know that all will be well, but the dream I once had of my death on September 26, 2026 resurfaced. What this means is that this winter is not a time for relaxing. I will order another 100 canvases and paint indoors until spring. I am still trying to figure out where to do this, and I had an idea to paint in the loft where I live — the Anna Biela Museum of Material Culture.

Going to Bethlehem has become more important than ever. I need to do what needs to be done for the Art Movement. It is simple in essence: I am going to pray and hopefully create some art.