A woman may accept a husband, but a husband chooses his wife.
By Anna Biela, Ph.D.
12 / 10 / 2026 / VIEW ROOM / WROCLOVE
“A woman will accept any husband, but one girl is better than another.” — Sirach 26:21
Today, I drew a Bible quote card after seeing a post of a boy painting his last graffiti before the motorway by Banksy, paired with the song “Smalltown Boy” — a song about loneliness, rejection, and the pain of feeling that you don’t belong.
The first verse I drew was:
“The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands.” — Psalm 19:2
I asked God to help me understand the message. Then I opened the Bible to the passage and, with my eyes closed, pointed my finger directly to verse 24:
“Whoever finds a wife has a beginning of good fortune, a help like himself and a strong support.” — Sirach 36:24
What struck me was the synchronicity: reality, music, Scripture, and hurt feelings coming together in one moment.
A boy painting his last graffiti before the motorway by Banksy. A song called “Smalltown Boy.” A verse about the heavens proclaiming God’s glory. And then, a verse about finding a wife who becomes a companion and a strong support.
It made me reflect on the pain of rejection and the hurt feelings that can exist on both sides of a relationship.
Sometimes, the deepest hurt comes from feeling that someone has seen your appearance but failed to see you. That they have formed an opinion about your body without taking the time to understand your heart, your spirit, your vulnerability, or the love you are capable of giving.
And sometimes, hurt feelings make us withdraw, build walls, or struggle to express what we truly need. Two people can both feel rejected, each carrying their own pain, while neither fully understands what the other is experiencing.
The wider biblical reading begins with a call to learn to discern wisely. It speaks about distinguishing what is good, recognizing truth, and looking beyond appearances. It then describes the value of a woman’s beauty, the kindness of her words, and the blessing of a wife who becomes a companion and a strong support.
And this is what I would want you to understand, my husband.
When you judge a woman by her body rather than her spirit, you risk hurting the very person you might otherwise have come to know and love. A woman’s worth cannot be measured by whether she meets your physical expectations. She is a whole human being, with feelings, faith, struggles, tenderness, and a heart that can be wounded.
Hurt feelings deserve to be acknowledged, not dismissed. They are not a weakness. They can reveal how deeply we long to be accepted, respected, and loved for who we are. But they also ask us to reflect on how we treat others, because our words, judgments, and choices can leave wounds that another person carries long after the moment has passed.
I cannot claim to know what the boy in that post was feeling, or that these Bible verses were a direct message about a particular person. But the connection between the image, the song, and the Scripture made me reflect on how universal the longing to belong really is.
The verse about a wife describes a companion and a strong support. It reminds us that marriage is not simply about choosing someone who looks the way we want. It is about recognizing a whole person and building a relationship grounded in respect, faithfulness, compassion, and mutual care.
And the first verse reminds me that the heavens proclaim God’s glory without needing to explain themselves.
Perhaps we, too, need to learn to look beyond what is immediately visible and treat one another with greater tenderness.
Because behind every rejection, there may be hurt feelings. Behind every wall, there may be vulnerability. And behind every person we judge, there is a human being whose inner world we may never fully understand.
Before you judge someone’s appearance, consider their feelings. Before you reject their heart, consider the pain your judgment might cause. And before you decide who someone is, give yourself the chance to truly see them.
Look beyond the body.
Look beyond the surface.
Look at the heart.
Because we all deserve to be seen as whole human beings.
